Commencement

Preface: Ok so my first instinct was to just jump right in (the next paragraph is the actual start of this), but I figured I needed to say something out of respect for, well everyone- the readers, the program, friends and supporters of TG, the brothers. Basically along the lines of an apology for this coming now, eight months later- last night was 34 weeks to the day since the final night of the program. But perhaps a better word than apology would be simply an acknowledgement. None of us really blogged as much as we wanted (or as much as Cory and Xan wanted us to!) during the summer, and we all wanted (and knew we ought) to do one to give closure to everything, but as they say life happens. I heard a great statement recently that I love- excuses don’t explain and explanations don’t excuse. We all got busy, this is long overdue and I’m sorry it didn’t come sooner, but it’s here now, it is what it is, no regrets, no scarcity, and no day but today. Enjoy…

So, the rest of the summer. Wow, well it was amazing, the entire summer was amazing, and the final night was the perfect ending, a true culmination of all we had experienced. First- the hunting guides coming over for dinner was not the last we saw of them. We would later go with them to some land owned by a friend of theirs where they took us hunting. Well, that was what we called it anyway, and at the time it was the closest thing most of us had been to hunting, however looking back it makes me chuckle, or smile at least, to use that word to describe it. More on that later though…

We had an awesome time hunting, and the reawakening to the love of guns and shooting was reaffirmed by God that day. Some people may relate to this idea more than others, but have you ever had something happen, something was on your mind or on your heart, some desire and then out of nowhere God fills that desire, gives you some little gift that, really in the scheme of things is intrinsically small, insignificant even, but to you, for your heart, means the world? I have heard personally and read about numerous things like this, God just showing up, giving you something that reminds you He is there, He sees you, He knows you, and He cares. No huge thing without which your faith would be gone and your heart broken, that you couldn’t live without, but just something small, the presence of which has a greater positive impact than the negative impact of its absence. I shot three birds that day.

The guides had bought a couple dozen quail (which are bred and raised for this purpose) and since we were on private land (it was out of season and we didn’t have licenses) they seeded a couple fields with several quail then took a couple of us through the fields with the hunting dogs and shotguns. Wasn’t exactly fish in a barrel because the birds moved around and we also of course had to actually hit them when they flew, but unlike real hunting we did know for sure that there were at least some birds and had a general idea of where. Anyway, we all got to go through the field and hunt a couple times each, and while one group hunted the rest could throw and shoot clay pigeons. The funny thing is it started to pour rain after we’d been there only a few hours I think, so we packed it up and got some lunch, all figuring we were done for the day, and at that time I think only maybe one bird had been actually hit. We ate some Sonic and the skies started to clear back in the direction of where we had hunted, so we decided to give it another shot (no pun intended) and drove back. We got to hunt the rest of the birds and towards the end all 10 of us (I believe it was ten) plus the two dogs were out there. We ended up with a total of 8 quail- one each by Dan, Josh, and Campbell, one by David Wallace a friend and supporter of Training Ground who was visiting from TN, and one by Annie the dog (when she flushed the bird it flew about two feet before Annie just jumped and snatched it out of the air!). And the other three were shot by me; I believe two of them I actually shot after someone else had taken a shot and missed. It was a great day, such a gift…

Such a gift…as was another day in which I really came alive. Our old friend Claude (from the Denver SWAT team) came one night to give us a firearms safety class and once this happened, none of us were surprised when Cory gave us directions to the place we would be going Saturday morning to shoot. Again on the private land of a friend and supporter of Training Ground, we met up with plenty of friendly faces, some new but most we had seen before. Claude and a coworker had brought a bunch of targets, which we set up on the land, and about a dozen guns of various kinds- a couple of their more powerful weapons from work which we all fired a couple times at the end, but mostly all handguns which we all fired throughout the morning. They were mostly Glock 9mms, a few .40 cals, but only a couple of the big boys- .45 acp, one of which caught my attention as soon as I knew it was there. Eric, Claude’s coworker, opened his trunk and asked if anybody wanted to use the 1911. Without a second’s hesitation I replied that I did; one of the greatest handguns in history, it has long been basically my favorite gun and especially since it was the only one we had there that day, I definitely wanted to shoot it. Anyway, that day was a lot of fun for us all, but I think I really loved it even more than the other guys. One moment that especially blessed me was when Claude had the four of us guys plus Xan and Cory compete like a SWAT team qualification and, though I don’t remember if I won or not, I do remember this. I was standing at one end of the row of us and another man, who was there shooting with us for the day and had also come over a few nights to the cabin to spend some time with us, was standing a few feet to my right watching us. As he watched me shoot each round he made several comments about how great I was shooting and that he was really impressed. I have a lot of respect for that man, but even more important to me than his opinion of me is how God feels about me, or more specifically what God did for my heart in that man’s comments, and really in that entire day. Those moments of that one man’s comments and affirmation to me really serve in my mind as an example and symbol for what the entire day was: God reminding me of something that I love and more importantly of how He feels about me, what He thinks of me, and that my heart is important to Him.

Then there was the final week. And just as our first week was the best way to start the summer, so the last week was a perfect way to end it out. We drove up to some of the same area as in May, just a bit more to the north of where we were then. No guides this time, just the six of us for several days of canoeing, backpacking, God, and each other. The major difference from the first week, which we all really appreciated, was pace. The beginning of the summer was hardcore, up early, break camp quickly, get packed up and moving, go go go, push hard all day, kind of approach to the week (and of course the killer summit a couple days into it). The last week was so relaxed and laid back, we get there when we get there, let’s just enjoy the scenery and each other along the way, take some pictures on the water like we’re freakin National Geographic, you know. The land and environment was so gorgeous and the time we all had together there was so beautiful- realizing that the summer was coming to an end and trying to understand what it all meant for us and put some closure to the whole experience.

Then, the final night. The last night of the program, graduation night as we’d come call it. At the risk of sounding redundant- it was again, the perfect ending. Both that week and the entire summer as a whole were concluded very well by that night at the cabin which was a culmination of all we had seen, learned, and experienced. We had a cookout and dinner with all of our friends from the summer, all that could make it anyway. So many of the men that we had met, that had come over and shared a meal with us and shared their hearts with us, stories of their lives and of their journeys, were now again in the cabin, having a meal with us. Oh yeah, and that afternoon before people started arriving we spent filming some ‘exit interviews’ in various places around the cabin; if you’ve seen the new video on http://www.trainingground.com/, that’s where those clips of each of us came from. So we had all these men there for dinner, the place was packed inside and out on the deck, and it was cool to see these men meet each other, some for the first time, hunting guides and fishing guides meeting and hanging out for example, all these guys that we had known in some various context getting to know one another.

So anyway, after dinner is what really made the night so amazing for the four of us. And in all honesty, my account of this event will be the least detailed or descriptive of any that I’ve written simply to honor how special it was for us. There’s part of me that does want to share it, and with some I’m sure, at some time, I will; one thing I learned that summer was to ask for things you want so if anyone really wants to know you should ask myself or one of the other guys- no guarantees about what you’ll get but it’s the asking that’s important. But a great man said to us one night very early in the summer that some stories are best told right, told fully in all their splendor and depth of greatness and detail, or not at all. And so that is how this story must end, or at least, this chapter. For to know the story of that night, it must be experienced, it must be felt. And so only those of us who were there, or who follow in our footsteps in sessions to come, or who become close enough to us in our lives to hear details such that they can feel it like they were there, only those in one of these groups will be privileged to truly know that story. Suffice it to say that we were blessed that night- by the fellowship of men around us, by each other, and mostly by the Father, and that to this day it brings tears to my eyes to think of it.