Preface: Ok so my first instinct was to just jump right in (the next paragraph is the actual start of this), but I figured I needed to say something out of respect for, well everyone- the readers, the program, friends and supporters of TG, the brothers. Basically along the lines of an apology for this coming now, eight months later- last night was 34 weeks to the day since the final night of the program. But perhaps a better word than apology would be simply an acknowledgement. None of us really blogged as much as we wanted (or as much as Cory and Xan wanted us to!) during the summer, and we all wanted (and knew we ought) to do one to give closure to everything, but as they say life happens. I heard a great statement recently that I love- excuses don’t explain and explanations don’t excuse. We all got busy, this is long overdue and I’m sorry it didn’t come sooner, but it’s here now, it is what it is, no regrets, no scarcity, and no day but today. Enjoy…
So, the rest of the summer. Wow, well it was amazing, the entire summer was amazing, and the final night was the perfect ending, a true culmination of all we had experienced. First- the hunting guides coming over for dinner was not the last we saw of them. We would later go with them to some land owned by a friend of theirs where they took us hunting. Well, that was what we called it anyway, and at the time it was the closest thing most of us had been to hunting, however looking back it makes me chuckle, or smile at least, to use that word to describe it. More on that later though…
We had an awesome time hunting, and the reawakening to the love of guns and shooting was reaffirmed by God that day. Some people may relate to this idea more than others, but have you ever had something happen, something was on your mind or on your heart, some desire and then out of nowhere God fills that desire, gives you some little gift that, really in the scheme of things is intrinsically small, insignificant even, but to you, for your heart, means the world? I have heard personally and read about numerous things like this, God just showing up, giving you something that reminds you He is there, He sees you, He knows you, and He cares. No huge thing without which your faith would be gone and your heart broken, that you couldn’t live without, but just something small, the presence of which has a greater positive impact than the negative impact of its absence. I shot three birds that day.
The guides had bought a couple dozen quail (which are bred and raised for this purpose) and since we were on private land (it was out of season and we didn’t have licenses) they seeded a couple fields with several quail then took a couple of us through the fields with the hunting dogs and shotguns. Wasn’t exactly fish in a barrel because the birds moved around and we also of course had to actually hit them when they flew, but unlike real hunting we did know for sure that there were at least some birds and had a general idea of where. Anyway, we all got to go through the field and hunt a couple times each, and while one group hunted the rest could throw and shoot clay pigeons. The funny thing is it started to pour rain after we’d been there only a few hours I think, so we packed it up and got some lunch, all figuring we were done for the day, and at that time I think only maybe one bird had been actually hit. We ate some Sonic and the skies started to clear back in the direction of where we had hunted, so we decided to give it another shot (no pun intended) and drove back. We got to hunt the rest of the birds and towards the end all 10 of us (I believe it was ten) plus the two dogs were out there. We ended up with a total of 8 quail- one each by Dan, Josh, and Campbell, one by David Wallace a friend and supporter of Training Ground who was visiting from TN, and one by Annie the dog (when she flushed the bird it flew about two feet before Annie just jumped and snatched it out of the air!). And the other three were shot by me; I believe two of them I actually shot after someone else had taken a shot and missed. It was a great day, such a gift…
Such a gift…as was another day in which I really came alive. Our old friend Claude (from the Denver SWAT team) came one night to give us a firearms safety class and once this happened, none of us were surprised when Cory gave us directions to the place we would be going Saturday morning to shoot. Again on the private land of a friend and supporter of Training Ground, we met up with plenty of friendly faces, some new but most we had seen before. Claude and a coworker had brought a bunch of targets, which we set up on the land, and about a dozen guns of various kinds- a couple of their more powerful weapons from work which we all fired a couple times at the end, but mostly all handguns which we all fired throughout the morning. They were mostly Glock 9mms, a few .40 cals, but only a couple of the big boys- .45 acp, one of which caught my attention as soon as I knew it was there. Eric, Claude’s coworker, opened his trunk and asked if anybody wanted to use the 1911. Without a second’s hesitation I replied that I did; one of the greatest handguns in history, it has long been basically my favorite gun and especially since it was the only one we had there that day, I definitely wanted to shoot it. Anyway, that day was a lot of fun for us all, but I think I really loved it even more than the other guys. One moment that especially blessed me was when Claude had the four of us guys plus Xan and Cory compete like a SWAT team qualification and, though I don’t remember if I won or not, I do remember this. I was standing at one end of the row of us and another man, who was there shooting with us for the day and had also come over a few nights to the cabin to spend some time with us, was standing a few feet to my right watching us. As he watched me shoot each round he made several comments about how great I was shooting and that he was really impressed. I have a lot of respect for that man, but even more important to me than his opinion of me is how God feels about me, or more specifically what God did for my heart in that man’s comments, and really in that entire day. Those moments of that one man’s comments and affirmation to me really serve in my mind as an example and symbol for what the entire day was: God reminding me of something that I love and more importantly of how He feels about me, what He thinks of me, and that my heart is important to Him.
Then there was the final week. And just as our first week was the best way to start the summer, so the last week was a perfect way to end it out. We drove up to some of the same area as in May, just a bit more to the north of where we were then. No guides this time, just the six of us for several days of canoeing, backpacking, God, and each other. The major difference from the first week, which we all really appreciated, was pace. The beginning of the summer was hardcore, up early, break camp quickly, get packed up and moving, go go go, push hard all day, kind of approach to the week (and of course the killer summit a couple days into it). The last week was so relaxed and laid back, we get there when we get there, let’s just enjoy the scenery and each other along the way, take some pictures on the water like we’re freakin National Geographic, you know. The land and environment was so gorgeous and the time we all had together there was so beautiful- realizing that the summer was coming to an end and trying to understand what it all meant for us and put some closure to the whole experience.
Then, the final night. The last night of the program, graduation night as we’d come call it. At the risk of sounding redundant- it was again, the perfect ending. Both that week and the entire summer as a whole were concluded very well by that night at the cabin which was a culmination of all we had seen, learned, and experienced. We had a cookout and dinner with all of our friends from the summer, all that could make it anyway. So many of the men that we had met, that had come over and shared a meal with us and shared their hearts with us, stories of their lives and of their journeys, were now again in the cabin, having a meal with us. Oh yeah, and that afternoon before people started arriving we spent filming some ‘exit interviews’ in various places around the cabin; if you’ve seen the new video on http://www.trainingground.com/, that’s where those clips of each of us came from. So we had all these men there for dinner, the place was packed inside and out on the deck, and it was cool to see these men meet each other, some for the first time, hunting guides and fishing guides meeting and hanging out for example, all these guys that we had known in some various context getting to know one another.
So anyway, after dinner is what really made the night so amazing for the four of us. And in all honesty, my account of this event will be the least detailed or descriptive of any that I’ve written simply to honor how special it was for us. There’s part of me that does want to share it, and with some I’m sure, at some time, I will; one thing I learned that summer was to ask for things you want so if anyone really wants to know you should ask myself or one of the other guys- no guarantees about what you’ll get but it’s the asking that’s important. But a great man said to us one night very early in the summer that some stories are best told right, told fully in all their splendor and depth of greatness and detail, or not at all. And so that is how this story must end, or at least, this chapter. For to know the story of that night, it must be experienced, it must be felt. And so only those of us who were there, or who follow in our footsteps in sessions to come, or who become close enough to us in our lives to hear details such that they can feel it like they were there, only those in one of these groups will be privileged to truly know that story. Suffice it to say that we were blessed that night- by the fellowship of men around us, by each other, and mostly by the Father, and that to this day it brings tears to my eyes to think of it.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
reawakening
So this week is game hunting week, or big game week, or something like that. Xan told us the theme had to do with that, game and hunting and such. So far this week we've had men come on two different nights to talk around that subject, Monday night and tonight; I can only imagine what tomorrow night and Saturday hold, although I hope I have an idea.
Both of these nights so far were great, in fact today was an amazing day overall, but I'll save both Monday night and a great adventure from this afternoon for another post because just tonight has enough weight of its own.
Well tonight three of our shooting guides came over for dinner. Actually one of them, Steve, we knew was a shooting guide and have been anticipating him coming over for probably a month and a half or so now, so it was great to finally have him over. All three though are amazing men with great stories, both about hunting as well as life in general, which they shared generously. They also generously shared their prizes: Steve, Mark, and Charles had brought various kinds of meat that they had killed. Tonight was the fullest we've ever seen our grill, though it has been put to great use before. There was all kinds of meat- wild turkey, elk, quail, pheasant, and chucker. They had been prepared various ways: a lime marinade, a wine and soy sauce marinade, bacon wrapped. And all of it was delicious. It was amazing, some of the best food we'd had all summer. In fact it might have to be the best overall because of the fact that the men who cooked and ate it with us were the ones who killed the animals. On taste alone the salmon steaks that Dean, a man that visited several weeks ago, brought from Alaska were probably a bit better, but they didnt have the overall story that this meat did.
Anyway, the guys cooked meat they had hunted while sharing stories from hunting trips, several about Charles' dog Chester ("the greatest dog in the world!", for those of you who have seen Disney's 'The Kid') then we gathered around a fire to hear more of the personal side of what hunting means to these guys and why they do it, etc. We also got to hold and pass around several s that they had brought to show us.
As the men told stories and talked to us about different things related to s and hunting and shooting, Xan asked the four of us what we were thinking or feeling about all of it. Though I didn't use this word at the time, I described feeling a sense of reawakening to a love and a passion for s and this type of thing. I've never hunted before, nor had much desire, but I have shot s a bit and had some exposure to it all, but never gotten nearly as much as I wanted. And over the years I've always been interested in the subject, watching everything I could on the history channel and just learning about s and shooting. In fact that was one thing that was evident tonight, a couple of times actually.
One example is that though I wanted to hold and see all the s they had brought, I stopped at a particular one once I had it in my hands and never let go of it the entire night. After one or two , I was handed a that I quickly recognized as a Winchester repeater. I was in awe. This is one of my favorite s, there is so much history involved with it. I held it up, looked down the barrel, ed the lever several times, marveled at how light it was and admired how powerful it is despite not seeming that long. I told Campbell it was one of the s that ruled the Old West and in fact that if it had come out a few years earlier it would have had a significant impact on historical events like the Civil War. I loved how it looked and how it felt in my hands. I never really dreamed I would hold one, but now all I could think was that I had to own one, or at least shoot one sometime.
For some time now shooting has been on my mind a lot and even the idea of getting back into it regularly as soon as I can. This desire has been deepened and more solidified with these men coming tonight and sharing about themselves, about shooting and hunting, and especially with inviting us into it, drawing us into that world. Tonight was amazing, and I can only imagine, and can't wait to see all the rest of the things God has for my heart in this area, and in others over the rest of the summer.
Both of these nights so far were great, in fact today was an amazing day overall, but I'll save both Monday night and a great adventure from this afternoon for another post because just tonight has enough weight of its own.
Well tonight three of our shooting guides came over for dinner. Actually one of them, Steve, we knew was a shooting guide and have been anticipating him coming over for probably a month and a half or so now, so it was great to finally have him over. All three though are amazing men with great stories, both about hunting as well as life in general, which they shared generously. They also generously shared their prizes: Steve, Mark, and Charles had brought various kinds of meat that they had killed. Tonight was the fullest we've ever seen our grill, though it has been put to great use before. There was all kinds of meat- wild turkey, elk, quail, pheasant, and chucker. They had been prepared various ways: a lime marinade, a wine and soy sauce marinade, bacon wrapped. And all of it was delicious. It was amazing, some of the best food we'd had all summer. In fact it might have to be the best overall because of the fact that the men who cooked and ate it with us were the ones who killed the animals. On taste alone the salmon steaks that Dean, a man that visited several weeks ago, brought from Alaska were probably a bit better, but they didnt have the overall story that this meat did.
Anyway, the guys cooked meat they had hunted while sharing stories from hunting trips, several about Charles' dog Chester ("the greatest dog in the world!", for those of you who have seen Disney's 'The Kid') then we gathered around a fire to hear more of the personal side of what hunting means to these guys and why they do it, etc. We also got to hold and pass around several s that they had brought to show us.
As the men told stories and talked to us about different things related to s and hunting and shooting, Xan asked the four of us what we were thinking or feeling about all of it. Though I didn't use this word at the time, I described feeling a sense of reawakening to a love and a passion for s and this type of thing. I've never hunted before, nor had much desire, but I have shot s a bit and had some exposure to it all, but never gotten nearly as much as I wanted. And over the years I've always been interested in the subject, watching everything I could on the history channel and just learning about s and shooting. In fact that was one thing that was evident tonight, a couple of times actually.
One example is that though I wanted to hold and see all the s they had brought, I stopped at a particular one once I had it in my hands and never let go of it the entire night. After one or two , I was handed a that I quickly recognized as a Winchester repeater. I was in awe. This is one of my favorite s, there is so much history involved with it. I held it up, looked down the barrel, ed the lever several times, marveled at how light it was and admired how powerful it is despite not seeming that long. I told Campbell it was one of the s that ruled the Old West and in fact that if it had come out a few years earlier it would have had a significant impact on historical events like the Civil War. I loved how it looked and how it felt in my hands. I never really dreamed I would hold one, but now all I could think was that I had to own one, or at least shoot one sometime.
For some time now shooting has been on my mind a lot and even the idea of getting back into it regularly as soon as I can. This desire has been deepened and more solidified with these men coming tonight and sharing about themselves, about shooting and hunting, and especially with inviting us into it, drawing us into that world. Tonight was amazing, and I can only imagine, and can't wait to see all the rest of the things God has for my heart in this area, and in others over the rest of the summer.
clarity
Ok so, for those that arent familiar with all the characters from my previous blog, I realized from someone that I might need to explain a couple things as some people might not know: Xan and Cory are our leaders, Xan's wife is Jayne, and Christine is Cory's wife. Xuxa is Christine and Cory's dog, her name is pronounced shoo-sha. Sorry for any confusion, I trust this is all clear as mud now.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
happy birthday America
So yesterday was the 4th of July. One of my favorite holidays, rivaled only by Christmas, which really tops the list. Anyway, it was a great day. We had off work of course, which was nice. Slept til noon which we all needed, then at breakfast together- pancakes, eggs, bacon, koolaid. Hung out at the cabin together for a bit, all of us- the four of us as well as Xan, Cory, their wives, and the dog. Then we got some gear and all piled into the back of Josh's truck and went up to the reservoir trailhead. We walked up to the first reservior and when we saw several people already fishing there we decided to keep going to the second, which was a good decision. When we finally got up to the lake and the far end of the second reservoir, we dropped our stuff and got started. Several people got their rods out to start getting fishing. Several of us though were admiring some rocks nearby which were high up the mountain behind us.
Several comments were made that we needed to climb those, at some point anyway, but it wasnt five minutes before Dan started off to do so, and Jayne was walking up there with him. I had Xuxa on her leash and was letting her walk around a bit before fishing and we got close to where Jayne and Dan were climbing up when Jayne yelled down to me asking if I wanted to come. 'Why not?' I figured and called back that I did, and then ran with the dog to catch up to them. They were excited that I was there, and so was I. We climbed for a couple hours roundtrip. It was amazing- we didnt quite get to the rocks we had seen from below, but we did get to some other rocks that were great. The big rocks we got to me and Dan got up ok but Jayne had some trouble because of her shoes. So Dan and I worked together to get her up- I layed down on the rock and braced myself with my legs while he held one of my hands and stood back, then I held out my other hand down to Jayne for her to grab on and come up. It felt pretty good, if I hadnt been there she probably wouldnt have been able to get up there. So we could see down on the others, but they couldnt see us that well. In fact, we saw them from the high point on the rock but I wanted to get onto an even higher bigger one behind it. So I got down and got between the two, finding tight but manageable places to wedge myself up and around. I even used several branches or fallen trees to pull myself up on. I finally got up and when I had good footing ran to the top of the rock and yelled down to the others again. When we had had our fill of the view and the rocks, we started back down.
So Xuxa had been ready to go back down for a while. She pretty much dragged me down the mountain, even though it was kinda steep in some places. And we actually got a bit off course going down; we were too far to the left and when we eventually got back to the road we were maybe a couple hundred yards back from the lake and the place we had started. But we got back ok to the others, and Xuxa was excited to see Christine. I didnt fish at all because we were leaving soon after we got back, but that was fine because the climb was so much fun as was the last thing I did before leaving.
Josh and I got our shirts and shoes off, climbed some rocks over the water, got to the top and leapt off into the water! It was so much fun, and the water wasnt nearly as cold as I expected. We climbed up, yelled Happy Birthday America, and jumped out into the lake. I jumped twice and Josh went three times- I wouldve gone again but it started thundering quite a bit just as I was going my second time. In fact I scraped my back on a rock as I was swimming to shore, just a scrape so not much blood, but more than I had before so it was nice. By the time we got dressed and found our shoes though, everyone had left Josh and I, so we pretty much jogged down the mountain. Dan waited for us part way though, so that was nice.
Anyway, we all got back to the cabin and grilled some great food, afterwhich we went down to town to see some of the festival and what was going on. Had a good time, walked around and came back after not too long. We watched the fireworks from the roof, which was great, they're supposed to be some of the best around. After Xan, Jayne, Cory, and Christine left, the four of us just chilled and watched Independence Day, a great 4th of July movie. It was an amazing day, lots of fun all around. In fact, it wasnt just yesterday, it was times around it too. Tuesday afternoon we got off early from work, then that night the four of us went out to a $1.50 movie theater we'd found. It was Tuesday so it was actually only 75 cents, but the best part is that we saw 300, my favorite movie which I've seen twice already. So we saw that awesome movie, had a great day yesterday, then this morning Campbell and I didnt have to work because our boss said he couldnt get in touch with any of our job sites, so to just have a good day. An amazing Independence Day, with a couple great days around it. Yeah. Sweet.
Several comments were made that we needed to climb those, at some point anyway, but it wasnt five minutes before Dan started off to do so, and Jayne was walking up there with him. I had Xuxa on her leash and was letting her walk around a bit before fishing and we got close to where Jayne and Dan were climbing up when Jayne yelled down to me asking if I wanted to come. 'Why not?' I figured and called back that I did, and then ran with the dog to catch up to them. They were excited that I was there, and so was I. We climbed for a couple hours roundtrip. It was amazing- we didnt quite get to the rocks we had seen from below, but we did get to some other rocks that were great. The big rocks we got to me and Dan got up ok but Jayne had some trouble because of her shoes. So Dan and I worked together to get her up- I layed down on the rock and braced myself with my legs while he held one of my hands and stood back, then I held out my other hand down to Jayne for her to grab on and come up. It felt pretty good, if I hadnt been there she probably wouldnt have been able to get up there. So we could see down on the others, but they couldnt see us that well. In fact, we saw them from the high point on the rock but I wanted to get onto an even higher bigger one behind it. So I got down and got between the two, finding tight but manageable places to wedge myself up and around. I even used several branches or fallen trees to pull myself up on. I finally got up and when I had good footing ran to the top of the rock and yelled down to the others again. When we had had our fill of the view and the rocks, we started back down.
So Xuxa had been ready to go back down for a while. She pretty much dragged me down the mountain, even though it was kinda steep in some places. And we actually got a bit off course going down; we were too far to the left and when we eventually got back to the road we were maybe a couple hundred yards back from the lake and the place we had started. But we got back ok to the others, and Xuxa was excited to see Christine. I didnt fish at all because we were leaving soon after we got back, but that was fine because the climb was so much fun as was the last thing I did before leaving.
Josh and I got our shirts and shoes off, climbed some rocks over the water, got to the top and leapt off into the water! It was so much fun, and the water wasnt nearly as cold as I expected. We climbed up, yelled Happy Birthday America, and jumped out into the lake. I jumped twice and Josh went three times- I wouldve gone again but it started thundering quite a bit just as I was going my second time. In fact I scraped my back on a rock as I was swimming to shore, just a scrape so not much blood, but more than I had before so it was nice. By the time we got dressed and found our shoes though, everyone had left Josh and I, so we pretty much jogged down the mountain. Dan waited for us part way though, so that was nice.
Anyway, we all got back to the cabin and grilled some great food, afterwhich we went down to town to see some of the festival and what was going on. Had a good time, walked around and came back after not too long. We watched the fireworks from the roof, which was great, they're supposed to be some of the best around. After Xan, Jayne, Cory, and Christine left, the four of us just chilled and watched Independence Day, a great 4th of July movie. It was an amazing day, lots of fun all around. In fact, it wasnt just yesterday, it was times around it too. Tuesday afternoon we got off early from work, then that night the four of us went out to a $1.50 movie theater we'd found. It was Tuesday so it was actually only 75 cents, but the best part is that we saw 300, my favorite movie which I've seen twice already. So we saw that awesome movie, had a great day yesterday, then this morning Campbell and I didnt have to work because our boss said he couldnt get in touch with any of our job sites, so to just have a good day. An amazing Independence Day, with a couple great days around it. Yeah. Sweet.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
God's Own Country: Kerala West
We got back last Sunday afternoon from a long weekend fishing trip. We left Wednesday night, fished all day Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and a few hours this morning before driving back today. We in Estes Park, at the cabin of one of our guides, Ron. From the driveway we could see Long’s Peak, one of Colorado’s fourteeners (a peak at least 14 thousand feet high). Ron, by the way, has climbed Longs Peak- more than once. In fact he has climbed all but 9 of Colorado’s 54 fourteeners. The man is amazing.
There’s several things I could, and probably will, talk about this trip, but right now the context I want to focus on is just the amazing beauty of this place. I’ve seen natural wonders like it a few times in my life. As a kid we took a few vacations to some places like the Grand Canyon and the Teton Mountain range. Those were spectacular too, but I think I am able to more fully appreciate the beauty of those trips now more than when I was younger.
I’ve also seen some other great places in the world. Two years ago I went to South Africa and Swaziland, then a few months ago I went to India. All of those were amazingly beautiful- mountains all around, yawning savannahs and grasslands, lush forests amidst a rocky peak. The place I spent the most time in India was the southern state, called Kerala. It is much more developed than many other parts of the country, but has a large amount of tourism to the many areas of natural beauty that it has. In fact, Kerala has so much natural beauty of so many kinds that it is called “God’s Own Country”. It is the state motto and on all the tourism literature and such. More on this in a bit…
So we fished just off the road in a river near the cabin several days but on Saturday we drove up to Dream Lake in Rocky Mountain National Park. From the parking lot we had to hike several miles up a trail on the mountain to get to the lake. The trail continued on to get to other lakes as well and see more of the park. But we stopped at the lake, unpacked our gear, and proceeded to fish it for probably about five hours or more, although it felt like maybe 45 minutes or so. I fished mostly with Ron and Campbell on the far side of the lake, out on some rocks 20 yards or so into the water. Several times throughout the day I would stop and look, or Campbell would point out to me the amazing view all around us. Beautiful mountains high above us to one side, even though we were at over 10,000 feet, some more mountains in the distance in the other direction, it was amazing. He and I also stopped a few times on the hike up to admire and take pictures of the view from the trail. The water itself was a stunning clear greenish color. I only caught one fish that day, the least of any of the full days we fished, but I didn’t mind at all because of where we were. It was an experience beyond words to even be in that place, in that water, surrounded by that beauty as well as the company I was with.
We’ve noticed it some other times too just around Colorado Springs. We live on the side of a mountain. Every day going to work we see Pikes Peak and other mountains in that range. A guy once told us early on that if we’re ever having a bad day at work or anything, just turn around and look at that and pointed to Pikes Peak. Shortly after that I told Campbell about seeing similar things in Africa and India, and about Kerala- God’s own country. This place, Colorado, I told him seems to me like Kerala West, it is just as beautiful in so many ways as any place I’ve ever seen. I suppose it is no coincidence that so many Christian ministries and organizations are based in Colorado Springs. God is here, there is something about so much nature and beauty that make Him easier to see and feel in everything. I can’t imagine any better place. The Indian state may have the official title, but this place truly is God’s Own Country.
There’s several things I could, and probably will, talk about this trip, but right now the context I want to focus on is just the amazing beauty of this place. I’ve seen natural wonders like it a few times in my life. As a kid we took a few vacations to some places like the Grand Canyon and the Teton Mountain range. Those were spectacular too, but I think I am able to more fully appreciate the beauty of those trips now more than when I was younger.
I’ve also seen some other great places in the world. Two years ago I went to South Africa and Swaziland, then a few months ago I went to India. All of those were amazingly beautiful- mountains all around, yawning savannahs and grasslands, lush forests amidst a rocky peak. The place I spent the most time in India was the southern state, called Kerala. It is much more developed than many other parts of the country, but has a large amount of tourism to the many areas of natural beauty that it has. In fact, Kerala has so much natural beauty of so many kinds that it is called “God’s Own Country”. It is the state motto and on all the tourism literature and such. More on this in a bit…
So we fished just off the road in a river near the cabin several days but on Saturday we drove up to Dream Lake in Rocky Mountain National Park. From the parking lot we had to hike several miles up a trail on the mountain to get to the lake. The trail continued on to get to other lakes as well and see more of the park. But we stopped at the lake, unpacked our gear, and proceeded to fish it for probably about five hours or more, although it felt like maybe 45 minutes or so. I fished mostly with Ron and Campbell on the far side of the lake, out on some rocks 20 yards or so into the water. Several times throughout the day I would stop and look, or Campbell would point out to me the amazing view all around us. Beautiful mountains high above us to one side, even though we were at over 10,000 feet, some more mountains in the distance in the other direction, it was amazing. He and I also stopped a few times on the hike up to admire and take pictures of the view from the trail. The water itself was a stunning clear greenish color. I only caught one fish that day, the least of any of the full days we fished, but I didn’t mind at all because of where we were. It was an experience beyond words to even be in that place, in that water, surrounded by that beauty as well as the company I was with.
We’ve noticed it some other times too just around Colorado Springs. We live on the side of a mountain. Every day going to work we see Pikes Peak and other mountains in that range. A guy once told us early on that if we’re ever having a bad day at work or anything, just turn around and look at that and pointed to Pikes Peak. Shortly after that I told Campbell about seeing similar things in Africa and India, and about Kerala- God’s own country. This place, Colorado, I told him seems to me like Kerala West, it is just as beautiful in so many ways as any place I’ve ever seen. I suppose it is no coincidence that so many Christian ministries and organizations are based in Colorado Springs. God is here, there is something about so much nature and beauty that make Him easier to see and feel in everything. I can’t imagine any better place. The Indian state may have the official title, but this place truly is God’s Own Country.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
infinity
I have hardly fished at all before this summer. The few vague memories I have of fishing, I’m sure I didn’t catch anything, I barely knew what I was doing. Ok, so I really had no idea what I was doing. But this summer we’ve got not one or even two, but three fly fishing guides teaching us not only the basics but also the intricacies of fly fishing. Three different men, each in a different decade of life in fact, showing us about this magnificent sport and what it means to them.
They came over to the cabin a few times just to teach- the first time Ron put on his gear and strated, Tim shared some excellent cigars with us, and they both shared a bit of their story of who they are and what fly fishing is to them, as well as some of the technicals of equipment and such. Then another time they both came again and this time Andy came as well; Andy is a First Lieutenant in the Air Force, a graduate of the Academy here in the Springs, and the youngest of the guides but since he grew up in Wyoming fly fishing has pretty much been in all his life. In fact he said he grew up playing in the Medicine Bow area; for those who don’t remember or didn’t read, Medicine Bow Peak is the summit we climbed our first week out here when we went for a 6 day backpacking trek in Wyoming. So Andy came with them and they all taught us more about fishing. Now, at this point, we’ve learned a lot but still haven’t been near water ourselves, nor have we touched any of the amazing brand new equipment and gear that is waiting for us downstairs for just this purpose.
Well, finally the day came, the week before this past Saturday the nine of us went to 11 Mile Canyon and had our first day of fly fishing, on the South Platte River. It was an amazing day. God did things for all of us that day, through the teaching, the time together, and of course catching fish! Which we all did by the way- all four of us caught at least one fish. Xan and Cory caught some too of course, as well as the guides (except Tim, who didn’t really fish himself much), but for me, Dan, Josh, and Campbell, it was our first time out and we each got at least one, and that felt awesome for us.
I said Tim didn’t fish much himself and that was because he was teaching and helping me most of the day. He was determined to get me some fish! Actually he seemed really upset and feeling bad when he was taking me to spots or having me fish a certain area and I was getting nothing. The deep interest he seemed to have in me catching some felt great, as did the fact that he said I wasn’t doing anything wrong, that my form and technique were good, I was having good casts and good drifts, so it wasn’t me. That’s one lesson I learned that day: sometimes they just don’t bite; it may not be anything you’re doing wrong, sometimes they just don’t bite (think about that for a minute, I’ll leave it to you to find the application for your life, but trust me it’s there). Anyway, we’d been fishing together for a few hours and finally I saw the indicator go under the water a bit, yanked on it to set the hook and immediately felt the tension at the end of the line. I could see the fish fighting and flailing around under the water! So I pulled up and started reeling in the line. Tim helped me out and got the net off my back to get the fish and I called Xan over to see it. We got some pretty sweet pictures of me, Tim, and the fish.
It felt so good catching that fish. That one was actually my second; the first was when Tim first started helping me but really felt like a fluke because I didn’t even know it was on the line. It hadn’t felt like I had really fished it and caught it as much as it had just eaten my fly and not spit it out. It had really just put itself on my hook is what it basically felt like. But with this second one is was just the opposite. I felt like I really knew what I was doing, had a real expert guiding me and showing me the way. I cast it well, let it drift, saw it bite, then hooked and reeled it in. It was mine, something I had accomplished and could be proud of. And I certainly was.
Later that week we got some more chances to go fishing. Campbell and I didn’t have to work Tuesday because our boss said the weather was bad and to just enjoy the day. So Xan told us to go ahead, relax or have fun or whatever. There was something we both needed to do, but once we had done that Campbell and I both geared up and got on our mountain bikes and made our way up to the reservoir for the town. It was so much fun just setting out, biking up there and then fishing together. He caught two that day and I caught one. The next day, after work, all four of us left on the bikes to go fish. This time Dan and Josh stayed at the first reservoir and Campbell and I went further on to the second which is much larger. The water was freezing but it was so much fun. This time I was the only one to catch a fish! We literally fished until the sun set, then rode back down the mountain by the light of his head lamp. In hindsight maybe this wasn’t the safest thing, but then when does the heart of a man desire that which is safe? It was fun, and beautiful, and made us feel so alive.
And now tonight we are getting another shot at the fish. We all leave tonight to go up to Rocky Mountain National for a weekend fishing trip at Estes Park. Sister Therese told us tonight that Thursday is the solstice, the first day of summer and therefore the longest amount of daylight of the year. No coincidence I think that the day with the most light is our first day out there to just fish all day. Then Friday and Saturday, with nowhere to go, nowhere to be and nothing to do but face off against the fish. We go to work today excited for we know that when we get off, what awaits us is a company of men and a river of fish.
I’m sure by now somebody is wondering about the title. I believe it was Ron who, on one of those first nights of instruction, said that the world of fly fishing was like infinity. Like God, and like life, you can never truly know everything there is to know about the subject. And total mastery is not the point of it. All you need are the basics as far as knowledge and some decent equipment and you can step into this limitless river of learning and experience so much of who God is. It isn’t about catching the biggest fish, or catching the most fish, it’s just about fishing, about experiencing it and finding out about who God is and who you are. I’m sure this won’t make sense to some people, maybe many people, how swinging a stick and a little bug into water can teach a person anything, much less about who God is or about their life. And perhaps it’s better that way, perhaps this is not a lesson that can simply be conveyed through words, but rather must be experienced, for I know that is how I have learned it. One of our guides said that he most sees Jesus when he is fly fishing. And I can understand what he means, because when I step into this infinite world I feel not overwhelmed or intimidated by it’s magnificence and size, but rather I am awed that I can touch eternity- touch God, and even my own heart, through this activity at which I needn’t be the best, needn’t understand everything, I don’t even have to do anything. All I need to do is to just come and be, just experience and feel, and then know. And then I am part of infinity.
They came over to the cabin a few times just to teach- the first time Ron put on his gear and strated, Tim shared some excellent cigars with us, and they both shared a bit of their story of who they are and what fly fishing is to them, as well as some of the technicals of equipment and such. Then another time they both came again and this time Andy came as well; Andy is a First Lieutenant in the Air Force, a graduate of the Academy here in the Springs, and the youngest of the guides but since he grew up in Wyoming fly fishing has pretty much been in all his life. In fact he said he grew up playing in the Medicine Bow area; for those who don’t remember or didn’t read, Medicine Bow Peak is the summit we climbed our first week out here when we went for a 6 day backpacking trek in Wyoming. So Andy came with them and they all taught us more about fishing. Now, at this point, we’ve learned a lot but still haven’t been near water ourselves, nor have we touched any of the amazing brand new equipment and gear that is waiting for us downstairs for just this purpose.
Well, finally the day came, the week before this past Saturday the nine of us went to 11 Mile Canyon and had our first day of fly fishing, on the South Platte River. It was an amazing day. God did things for all of us that day, through the teaching, the time together, and of course catching fish! Which we all did by the way- all four of us caught at least one fish. Xan and Cory caught some too of course, as well as the guides (except Tim, who didn’t really fish himself much), but for me, Dan, Josh, and Campbell, it was our first time out and we each got at least one, and that felt awesome for us.
I said Tim didn’t fish much himself and that was because he was teaching and helping me most of the day. He was determined to get me some fish! Actually he seemed really upset and feeling bad when he was taking me to spots or having me fish a certain area and I was getting nothing. The deep interest he seemed to have in me catching some felt great, as did the fact that he said I wasn’t doing anything wrong, that my form and technique were good, I was having good casts and good drifts, so it wasn’t me. That’s one lesson I learned that day: sometimes they just don’t bite; it may not be anything you’re doing wrong, sometimes they just don’t bite (think about that for a minute, I’ll leave it to you to find the application for your life, but trust me it’s there). Anyway, we’d been fishing together for a few hours and finally I saw the indicator go under the water a bit, yanked on it to set the hook and immediately felt the tension at the end of the line. I could see the fish fighting and flailing around under the water! So I pulled up and started reeling in the line. Tim helped me out and got the net off my back to get the fish and I called Xan over to see it. We got some pretty sweet pictures of me, Tim, and the fish.
It felt so good catching that fish. That one was actually my second; the first was when Tim first started helping me but really felt like a fluke because I didn’t even know it was on the line. It hadn’t felt like I had really fished it and caught it as much as it had just eaten my fly and not spit it out. It had really just put itself on my hook is what it basically felt like. But with this second one is was just the opposite. I felt like I really knew what I was doing, had a real expert guiding me and showing me the way. I cast it well, let it drift, saw it bite, then hooked and reeled it in. It was mine, something I had accomplished and could be proud of. And I certainly was.
Later that week we got some more chances to go fishing. Campbell and I didn’t have to work Tuesday because our boss said the weather was bad and to just enjoy the day. So Xan told us to go ahead, relax or have fun or whatever. There was something we both needed to do, but once we had done that Campbell and I both geared up and got on our mountain bikes and made our way up to the reservoir for the town. It was so much fun just setting out, biking up there and then fishing together. He caught two that day and I caught one. The next day, after work, all four of us left on the bikes to go fish. This time Dan and Josh stayed at the first reservoir and Campbell and I went further on to the second which is much larger. The water was freezing but it was so much fun. This time I was the only one to catch a fish! We literally fished until the sun set, then rode back down the mountain by the light of his head lamp. In hindsight maybe this wasn’t the safest thing, but then when does the heart of a man desire that which is safe? It was fun, and beautiful, and made us feel so alive.
And now tonight we are getting another shot at the fish. We all leave tonight to go up to Rocky Mountain National for a weekend fishing trip at Estes Park. Sister Therese told us tonight that Thursday is the solstice, the first day of summer and therefore the longest amount of daylight of the year. No coincidence I think that the day with the most light is our first day out there to just fish all day. Then Friday and Saturday, with nowhere to go, nowhere to be and nothing to do but face off against the fish. We go to work today excited for we know that when we get off, what awaits us is a company of men and a river of fish.
I’m sure by now somebody is wondering about the title. I believe it was Ron who, on one of those first nights of instruction, said that the world of fly fishing was like infinity. Like God, and like life, you can never truly know everything there is to know about the subject. And total mastery is not the point of it. All you need are the basics as far as knowledge and some decent equipment and you can step into this limitless river of learning and experience so much of who God is. It isn’t about catching the biggest fish, or catching the most fish, it’s just about fishing, about experiencing it and finding out about who God is and who you are. I’m sure this won’t make sense to some people, maybe many people, how swinging a stick and a little bug into water can teach a person anything, much less about who God is or about their life. And perhaps it’s better that way, perhaps this is not a lesson that can simply be conveyed through words, but rather must be experienced, for I know that is how I have learned it. One of our guides said that he most sees Jesus when he is fly fishing. And I can understand what he means, because when I step into this infinite world I feel not overwhelmed or intimidated by it’s magnificence and size, but rather I am awed that I can touch eternity- touch God, and even my own heart, through this activity at which I needn’t be the best, needn’t understand everything, I don’t even have to do anything. All I need to do is to just come and be, just experience and feel, and then know. And then I am part of infinity.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
real men: living from the heart
Ok, well tonight was awesome, as usual. Not having to cook dinner because Cory took care of it was only the first of many great things this evening. They're not kidding when they tell us that we're gonna love what we're doing on a particular night, or who's coming over or something. Of course they never tell us who or what is going on until about 10 minutes before, but that's another issue...
Anyway, Claude and Dave came over for dinner tonight. Dave is a missionary to Kazakhstan and Claude is a cop with a SWAT unit. We ate together then sat around a fire hearing police stories and smoking cigars. Then Claude shared a bit of his story, his background and how he got into police work and some of the things it means for his heart. We'll see them again when they take us , but tonight it was great to have these men just sit and pour into us. Claude even shared that he had earlier felt like he had nothing to offer us and we said that them just being there and offering themselves was more than we could express.
Through some of Claude's statements and stories I did get a bit of direction and help with some things I've had on my heart lately, but really the biggest thing for me, maybe for all of us, tonight was just the honesty and the reality of these men. Actually that aspect of all the men we've had around us, starting with Xan and Cory, but also John, the one who feels like a grandfather to us, as well as Tim and Ron and Andy, our fly fishing guides, then Sam, a counselor that spoke to us a few nights, PJ and Brian, some guys that have some great backgrounds and stories with finance and business. All of these people are just 'real men', with the emphasis more on the word real. They all certainly are men, very much men that all four of us respect a great deal as men, but what I'm getting at right now is just the honesty and straightfowardness of their hearts and lives. There's no b.s. with these guys (can I say b.s.?). And that's my point- we don't have to wonder 'can I say that?' with any of these guys, there's no need to pose or put up a front with any of them because it's clear that they don't do that.
Believe it or not, my main point about these guys being honest and real wasn't so much about all that. A theme came out of some things they said that was basically a reminder that life and living from your heart as a man is so much more about the journey and it being a process. They shared that they are not 'there', that they still struggle themselves sometimes with being real and living free and that it's just all about the journey. That was encouraging and so intimate. These guys all being so real is about so much more than the two things I just spent two and a half paragraphs on; it's about not posing anymore. It's about not pretending to have the answers or know it all or have it all figured out yet but sharing with one another in the journey and just loving one another. It's about being vulnerable, with each other, with ourselves, with God, and undertanding the Father's heart toward us, knowing that it is good.
Wow, way deeper than I intended to go on this blog, really just meant to talk about how cool it was to have a SWAT officer and a missionary over. But that's ok. So yeah, Claude brought out a bunch of toys and passed them around the fire: flashbangs and various types of s, different kinds of non-lethal rounds, a couple magazines for his M-16 with for different occasions, his shotgun, his weapon (I forget the name) which looks like a launcher and shoots non-lethal foam pellets. And a few more things I won't mention, for various reasons ;)
So yeah, it was just awesome to sit with these men, all the cool toys and equipment aside, and just hear their stories, get a feel for who they are, and just be present with them in those moments. It makes me, makes all four of us I think, realize and see more and more how blessed we are to be here but also how much people have really been thinking and doing and preparing for us to be here. Getting all kinds of stuff ready and planning things out, just for us. The depth and reality of that, of what all that means and what God is speaking to me heart in that, it's amazing, still sinking in really, still learning what it all means...
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