real men: living from the heart

Ok, well tonight was awesome, as usual. Not having to cook dinner because Cory took care of it was only the first of many great things this evening. They're not kidding when they tell us that we're gonna love what we're doing on a particular night, or who's coming over or something. Of course they never tell us who or what is going on until about 10 minutes before, but that's another issue...

Anyway, Claude and Dave came over for dinner tonight. Dave is a missionary to Kazakhstan and Claude is a cop with a SWAT unit. We ate together then sat around a fire hearing police stories and smoking cigars. Then Claude shared a bit of his story, his background and how he got into police work and some of the things it means for his heart. We'll see them again when they take us , but tonight it was great to have these men just sit and pour into us. Claude even shared that he had earlier felt like he had nothing to offer us and we said that them just being there and offering themselves was more than we could express.

Through some of Claude's statements and stories I did get a bit of direction and help with some things I've had on my heart lately, but really the biggest thing for me, maybe for all of us, tonight was just the honesty and the reality of these men. Actually that aspect of all the men we've had around us, starting with Xan and Cory, but also John, the one who feels like a grandfather to us, as well as Tim and Ron and Andy, our fly fishing guides, then Sam, a counselor that spoke to us a few nights, PJ and Brian, some guys that have some great backgrounds and stories with finance and business. All of these people are just 'real men', with the emphasis more on the word real. They all certainly are men, very much men that all four of us respect a great deal as men, but what I'm getting at right now is just the honesty and straightfowardness of their hearts and lives. There's no b.s. with these guys (can I say b.s.?). And that's my point- we don't have to wonder 'can I say that?' with any of these guys, there's no need to pose or put up a front with any of them because it's clear that they don't do that.

My point is that when I flew out here and Xan and Cory picked me up from the airport, within about 15 minutes of riding and talking with them, and hearing them talking back and forth, I was just thinking, 'thank God, finally, some real people'. God, like life is more organic than to be confined to rules and formulas.

Believe it or not, my main point about these guys being honest and real wasn't so much about all that. A theme came out of some things they said that was basically a reminder that life and living from your heart as a man is so much more about the journey and it being a process. They shared that they are not 'there', that they still struggle themselves sometimes with being real and living free and that it's just all about the journey. That was encouraging and so intimate. These guys all being so real is about so much more than the two things I just spent two and a half paragraphs on; it's about not posing anymore. It's about not pretending to have the answers or know it all or have it all figured out yet but sharing with one another in the journey and just loving one another. It's about being vulnerable, with each other, with ourselves, with God, and undertanding the Father's heart toward us, knowing that it is good.

Wow, way deeper than I intended to go on this blog, really just meant to talk about how cool it was to have a SWAT officer and a missionary over. But that's ok. So yeah, Claude brought out a bunch of toys and passed them around the fire: flashbangs and various types of s, different kinds of non-lethal rounds, a couple magazines for his M-16 with for different occasions, his shotgun, his weapon (I forget the name) which looks like a launcher and shoots non-lethal foam pellets. And a few more things I won't mention, for various reasons ;)

So yeah, it was just awesome to sit with these men, all the cool toys and equipment aside, and just hear their stories, get a feel for who they are, and just be present with them in those moments. It makes me, makes all four of us I think, realize and see more and more how blessed we are to be here but also how much people have really been thinking and doing and preparing for us to be here. Getting all kinds of stuff ready and planning things out, just for us. The depth and reality of that, of what all that means and what God is speaking to me heart in that, it's amazing, still sinking in really, still learning what it all means...